shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize