Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
