someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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