community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
