Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
