Duck Duck Cougar?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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