i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
