oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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