He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
