This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
a search helicopter?!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize