the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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