Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
