We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
