Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
