I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
