yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
where does the pee come out of this thing
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
