Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My feet surprised me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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