lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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