Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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