you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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