guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
