Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
