i barfeds in our rink
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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