New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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