Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
