that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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