Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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