So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize