So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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