Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
