Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
