remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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