North Korea, Best Korea!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
A+ Viking dick
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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