overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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