no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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