i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
