its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
