at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
