do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
