Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
