Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
