I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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