Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
