So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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