Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
