yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
