I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
