Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
