Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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