I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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