Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
