$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
