i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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