You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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