Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
