the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
