I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize