So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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