Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
