i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize