hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
