Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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